When you’re sat on your sofa planning a trip to the Philippines, already so far from home, it’s tempting to spin the globe just a little smidgen more. Suddenly, Australia starts to feel just around the corner. One small step to ticking off a bucket list item — The Ashes, in Australia, at the MCG to boot. Well, it’d be rude not to, right? A quick Skyscanner search, £145 direct from Manila. No brainer. Game on
My good friend Adam had recently moved out there so I left it to him for what ended up being a relatively simple ticket purchase, and only £30, mega bargain. As always, next stop Sofascore. In the days following our Cricket adventure, both Melbourne Scoccer teams were playing at home, bonza.
Late arrival
The 8-hour flight was a little further than I envisaged and made the price seem even more of a bargain. Landing at 2am on the day of the game wasn’t ideal but getting a free donut off the girl in the shared taxi gave me that extra little boost. I knew from my travels that Aussies were, in the great majority, absolutely wonderful human beings, all the qualities of my own culture with an extra added something that a lifetime of sunshine brings to people. This first interaction already had me smiling.
Before an England sports event, I’m used to a good few hours drinking and singing beforehand but with a 1030 start it was a slightly different story, and wisely so. We jumped on the metro and I was enjoying my first sight of Australian daylight amongst the delight of English Cricket fans. The rush of everything meant I hadn’t had too much chance to digest the situation, but within minutes, here I was. Glorious sunshine, smiling faces all around me and about to enter one of Crickets most iconic stadiums for the legendary Boxing Day Test. Love it.
How hard can it be fellas?
Having booked the tickets several weeks before the Ashes kicked off there was only one request. That England were still alive in the 5-match series with Melbourne being the 4th. But as is so often the case, the England Cricket team fail epically on this side of the world. Anything but 3-0 and we had some faint hope…..so obviously it was 3-0 to The Aussies, nightmare. Oh well, we’re here now and luckily in Cricket, each Test match has its own importance and we were determined to have a bloody good time.
Staying inside by the bars gave us a nice spot at a table to get in our first few Carlton Dry’s. Our slightly obscured view by a pillar wasn’t quite the dream I had imagined so I was keen to get outside to sing with the Barmy Army after lunch, and take in the full awe of the stadium.
A remarkable 20 wickets had fallen on the first day leading to criticism of the groundsmen for the length of the grass and the quality of the pitch. Day 2 began with Australia leading by 46 and it didn’t take too long before the effects of the pitch kicked in again with the home side 6 wickets down by lunch.
At lunch we grabbed a little spot where we just sat in the sun and took it all in, we’d had great luck with the weather as all preceding days had been cold and grey. What an incredible stadium, 92,045 were in attendance for this great occasion.
Iconic
Melbourne Cricket Ground or the ‘G’ as it’s known locally is the largest stadium in the southern hemisphere and only behind the Narendra Modi Stadium globally for cricket. It was built way back in a mind blowing 1853. Needless to say it’s undergone a renovation or two since then but has retained its status as the spiritual home of not only Cricket, but also Aussie Rules and has hosted the AFL Grand Final since 1902. By any metric, this is up there as one of the greatest sporting venues in the world.
And here I was, nicely warmed up and in amongst the Barmy Army, now sampling the bars in the stands which blew my mind…scan your card through the barriers..grab your beers…and walk out…you’ll get a beep on your phone as the facial recognition has picked it up, bloody wonderful. Beers were only coming to about £8 for a pint which given the country and the venue, wasn’t too bad at all.
Songs were being sung, beer was flowing and most importantly of all, the wickets were falling. The Aussies were bowled out for a measly 132 leaving a great opportunity for England to retrieve some dignity from the series requiring a target of 174 to win.
Soaking it all in
Finally, we headed up to our actual seats for the day, well, the correct stand at least. The Shane Warne stand, named to honour one of the greatest sporting characters of all time, never mind just Australian Cricket. The sun still shining brightly and a stunning view across the stadium. One fan seemed to have committed a misdemeanour as he entertained the crowd for a good few minutes, ducking and diving his way through the other fans avoiding the security before his eventual eviction.
One of the real highlights of the day was at 3:50pm, the crowd doffed their caps repeatedly in honour of the legendary Warney who was the 350th man to wear the Baggie Green and represent his country. A wonderful moment to pay our respects to a man who was much loved by even his biggest rivals.
Now nicely sozzled it was time to get back down to the Barmy Army and get in ‘The Cage’. A tight section of fans in fine voice, admittedly with about as bad a view of the pitch as you can imagine but hey ho, we came here just as much for the atmosphere and that certainly didn’t let us down.
We can dream
Although a target of 174 is relatively low in Cricket, it would still have needed to have been the highest score of the four innings and given England’s form there was little faith in that. But a fine start from Crawley and Duckett gave us room to dream. By the time Duckett lost his wicket we only required 121, surely 9 wickets is enough, surely.
Jacob Bethell piled on another 40 and the finishing line was in sight. A few late wobbles but the boys got over the line with 4 wickets to spare to the great pleasure of the Barmy Army. The singing hadn’t stopped all day and continued as we left the stadium. The Aussies took it in good spirits given they already had the series wrapped up, most of them thought the fans deserved it for their constant singing and for making the effort to get there in the first place, can’t argue with that.
Mircales do happen
Finally, a victory down under, a mere 15 years since the last, I couldn’t believe my luck. There had been 70+ days of cricket since we last won and the one day I rolled up, we got an unexpected victory on only the second day of the match, a very rare event in Test Cricket.
Days of travel, followed by about 16 hours of drinking, meant I was in need of a long lie in, with only one target on our mind for Day 2 in Australia. The mighty Melbourne City.
The current A-League Champions having sealed their second title last season. Founded in 2009 as Melbourne Heart becoming the 10th franchise to join the league. 5 years later after a takeover by the City Group they changed their name to Melbourne City.
This move switched the focus to youth given the greater access to scouting networks and moved away from superstars such as Harry Kewell and Tim Cahill via one last marquee signing of David Villa in 2014. Since then, there has been steady progression and only once finishing outside the Top 5.
Top Dogs
The last 6 years have been particularly fruitful becoming the first team to win 3 regular season Premierships in a row and taking home two main championships, however still 3 behind the 5 of Sydney FC.
A late departure from the hostel but we took the one hour walk down from St Kilda admiring the beautiful views crossing the Yarra River. The whole area is, well, bloody lovely. Starting out at St Kilda with its stunning beaches, wander down through Albert Park and the Melbourne Botanical Gardens and countless grand houses in peaceful looking neighbourhoods. If it wasn’t so hot and I wasn’t feeling a little tender then you could very well make that hour journey last all day. The stadium itself is not far from the ‘G’ and the centre of Melbourne and the vibes outside the ground were rather entertaining.
Finally, we arrived at the Melbourne Rectangular Stadium, presumably named so to differentiate from its Cricket and Aussie Rules counterparts. Built in 2010, the 30,000-seater stadium plays host to both Melbourne City and their great rivals Melbourne Victory. It has also hosted the great and good of the musical world including Bruce Springsteen and a record crowd for 98,136 who turned out to see Taylor Swift.
Bargain
A very reasonable $35 AUD was the price to enter the arena, again, the sales people glad to welcome the Barmy Army for a significant boost in the numbers attending. The place almost never sells out so you are certain of a ticket barring something crazy.
Once inside it was immediately clear it was part of the City Group with a strong sky blue theme but not overly done. We headed straight to the outdoor bar where we grabbed a hotdog and some cider in the searing heat. The only way to bounce back.
Today’s visitors Perth Glory have rarely troubled the top half of the table since their only Premiership win in 2019. Finishing 13th and rock-bottom last season meant they were happy heading into this game in 7th place, 2 ahead of the underperforming City.
There weren’t many recognisable names on the teamsheets, but one that did jump out was Tom Lawrence, best known for his spell at Derby County and being a regular in the English Championship for 8 or so years.
Bright start
He didn’t take long to make his mark, tucking away at the far post to finish off some neat football after some poor defending. By 22 minutes he had a double and the home side were under severe pressure.
Half time was an opportunity to grab another pint and have a wander over to the away fans where the main atmosphere seemed to be. With the cricket finishing days early, the Barmy Army were out in force with that of their name being the most significantly sung chant throughout the game.
Given the general distaste across England for the Man City model, it was no surprise to see the tourists side with the Glory fans. Textbook English songs were sung with the word ‘Glory’ slotted in.
Even ‘You’re just a s**t Andy Carroll’ was aimed at the home sides Sub Goalkeeper as he warmed up nearby, it took a fair while but after a chant of ‘Carroll, give us a wave’, he duly obliged and there were cheers and smiles all round.
The home side had a small gathering of maybe 50 or so fans behind the goal making a limited noise. Even the pre-match song gave an indication that there wasn’t a huge fan culture here. Not overly surprising given the relatively recent creation of the league and the competition ‘Soccer’ faces from the more established sports here of Cricket, Aussie Rules, or footy as it’s known and the two Rugby codes. There was also a bit of noise coming from the few travelling fans but really it was the supplement of well-oiled Englishman that were creating the atmosphere.
Game over
Tom Lawrence completed his hat trick before a late consolation for Melbourne but the highlight was after the final whistle. The Perth players and staff came over to applaud the travelling support creating quite a unique scene. The smiles and appreciation from the players was reciprocated by the chant of ‘Barmy Army’ for a good minute or so.
A cracking night all in all supplemented by a gorgeous sunset as we wandered back home across the river. A rather random power cut back at the hostel but we shared some beers with a couple of old pals. Coming home the night before, chatting away in the dorm room and in pops a familiar face.
“Have we met before?”
“India?”
“It’s Joe Root!!”
A story referencing a wonderful few days in Lucknow, India a few years back. Unbelievable how often these occurrences happen when travelling. Of all the rooms, in all the hostels in Melbourne. We regaled a few tales before calling it an early night in preparation for a chilled day of tourism.
Tourism Time
I had one full day to check out the local area of St Kilda so I opted for a three hour stroll along the beautiful beaches. My target destination were the famous Brighton Bathing Boxes. I have to admit I was thoroughly underwhelmed. Maybe it was the 3 hour walk with a foot injury or the intense heat and the impending sunburn, but personally it was just a selection of colourfully painted sheds, each to their own hey.
Later in the day after a relaxing beer and a nap I returned to the beach at St Kilda for sunset. And what a bloody lovely spot. Thousands of people milling about or sitting on the grass to enjoy a wonderful sight. A huge collection of cultures enjoying the vibes. No scrotes, no beggars, no drama, no covered faces looking for their next drug deal, just a lovely feeling of good people living life. What I’d give for those vibes in Manchester.
Hometime
My flight the next day was early evening giving me enough time to check out the walking tour. A lovely guide gave us a quick tour of the centre and once again, good vibes all round. One of the overriding feelings here. Every time you popped in a shop you felt genuine enthusiasm in the people, just a natural instinct to be warm and welcoming to everyone they interact with. It’s no great surprise that Melbourne has repeatedly been voted the most liveable city in the world. Even in such a brief time here, there was no doubt it’d be bloody wonderful to stay longer, it really does have it all.
Anyway, that’s that from me, the briefest of sojourns in Australia, three and a half days was barely enough time to unpack, never mind get to know the place and explore. Hopefully I’ll be back one day.
IS MELBOURNE WORTH A VISIT FOR A FOOTY TRIP?
Just a mere 38-hour journey back to the UK via China, plenty of time to consider whether Melbourne is worth a visit for a Footy Trip?
Team Ability – Put to the sword by a former championship player and struggling this season but a team playing in the Asian Champions League nonetheless – 6/10
Atmosphere – 7,000 fans in a 30,000-seater stadium. Atmosphere only really enhanced by the Barmy Army. Quite a juxtaposition from the previous day’s spectacle – 4/10
Stadium Quality – Top stadium in a great location, purpose built for football and would be cool to return for a derby – 8/10
Beer/Food at stadium – Speedy service for food and beer, decent quality and can be taken to the seat, not super cheap but still – 8/10
Tourism – Hard to fault the place, especially as a Sports fan, great nightlife, café culture. As nice a city beach as you could imagine, and even great hiking options a few hours from the city – 10/10
Accessibility – Here’s where it falls down a little, about as far away as you can get and rarely cheap to get to and although not crippling, it’s unsurprisingly expensive when you get there – 1/10
People – Bloody lovely, I’ve met a million Aussie’s over the years and they’ve overwhelmingly been great people. Their happy positive vibes are infectious making it a pleasure to be around them – 9/10
Stadium Surroundings – Very pleasant parkland, botanical gardens and beautiful river setting. A few bars look decent that we didn’t get to check out as well, not bad at all – 7/10
History – Only 16 years old and up there in the top few in Australia but never troubled continental glory….until this year maybe – 2/10
Ease/Cost of ticket purchase – Tickets can be purchased on the day without question and only £18 to see top division football was a brilliant deal – 9/10
Total – 64/100
So, is Melbourne the perfect footy trip I’ve been searching for? Well, it’s bloody wonderful but not quite. But if you can ever get over there then it’s well worth a visit.
Accomplishments
For me in terms of personal accomplishments on this trip
Australia was the 72nd country I have visited (72/196)
And the 33rd in which I have watched football, ticking off Australasia now means I’ve watched football in all continents in the world bar Antarctica, football has and can be played there so I now have something moving fast up my bucket list.
But for now. An absolute pleasure as always to travel around the world enjoying the delights on offer, thanks again for joining me and until the next footy trip, take it easy